Wednesday, February 24, 2010

From This Heart Painted Black

As I lie down to sleep, I know she's crying;
With every breath I take she weeps for me.
I close my eyes, and try to get to sleeping,
But in the darkness I feel her surround me.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner -
We should be laughing; deeply in love.
But things have changed as I've grown older,
This troubled heart, it's just had enough.

I wish I could hold you for one last time;
Sing to you of times you've had with me.
I know it's cruel, but tell me is it a crime,
To walk where this heart of mine takes me?

I don't want to leave, or tell you goodbye;
I'll take it all back and change this ending.
But now you've bled this heart all but dry,
And all it yearns for is a new beginning.

I won't ever forget you; yes I never will -
Everything I do will remind me of you.
I pray someday if my heart's beating still,
It will find it's way back... back to you.

21 comments:

Mimihrahsel said...

I know exactly what you mean.. lovely poem

Andy Varte said...

@Mimi: Thank you. This one was rather hushed up the night before Valentine's at 5am. Don't ask!

gkhiangte said...

dude, correct me if Im wrong but I think you love the idea of falling out of love rather than be in love..its the idea of losing love that you think you cant have but in reality you can, is what I think is going on here..Love needs no Valentine's Day B.S. to show its face. as a non expert on the subject matter, I do sympathize with what you are going through. I wish that you fall in love and not out of love again! although, it was me who used to love the idea of broken hearts!! I used to believe the tragic endings of a love story as being true love!! Now, I guess I have become 'normal' and hope for love that is eternal..peace..

Andy Varte said...

@gkhiangte: In the words of Freddie Mercury, "I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy!" :D On a serious note, do not weep nor lament for me, 'tis but the turning of the tide in this stage of my life. And I do agree with the idea that 'love needs no Valentine's Day'. I do think that Valentine's is overrated - how can you set aside a special day for something as universal and timeless as love? And as for the future, let us once again hope, against all hope hopen!

blackestred said...

I kinda agree with G cos' most of your poems are more about losing love than finding it. But, sure, it's probably just a phase and you'll get over it. Valentine's Day is for people looking for love, not those who has found it. :P
And you can still poem your ass out of a Guillotine! Rhyme on!

Andy Varte said...

@blackestred: Thanks for stopping by. As for the 'poem-ing' my ass out of a guillotine, I'm not so sure... aren't you supposed to get into the damned thing from the opposite end ie head-first? :D

shuakshuali said...

Then why leave her? You bad, bad boy! seriously though, women are the enemy, aren't they? they bleed you, then hang you out to dry... until it finally becomes too much and you have to leave them or just go crazy... but they do learn their lessons, though :)great writing

Andy Varte said...

@shuakshuali (!): I'm a slow learner when it comes to matters of the heart. My favorite Aerosmith song is still the one where Steven Tyler goes, "Girl before I met you, I was F.I.N.E - fine! But your love made me a prisoner, my heart's been doing time..." :D Thanks for reading my blog. And just for the record, I don't hate nor do I have anything against women - the anguish in my rhymes is aimed at ME. :)

illusionaire said...

Yes, I agree with Shuakshuali for once. Women are always the culprit.

And about your poem, yes its lovely, and rhyme's got a ring too. Nicely written.

Andy Varte said...

@illusionaire: I am humbled to be in the presence of such blogging royalty as you are! As for this poem - it was hushed up like I said and meant more for emotional satisfaction rather than poetic prowess. I shall try and come up with something more substantial next time... thanks for the visit!

shuakshuali said...

@Illu... Go F a duck!! @Andy: Yes, women (or maybe lurve wud be more accurate) may be a pain, but most of the time, it's so worth it. And maybe u were F-I-N-E fine b4 she came around, but when she was there, i bet u were H-i-g-h high.
Yea, women are the culprit, but guys are the perps. And maybe I m contradicting meself here, but thats what makes being a woman so fun- that we can be as irrational as we want, and still get away with it :D

illusionaire said...

See, women are like this... in a relationship if a guy cheats, he's a b@stard. But if the girl cheats, they always say its because the guy was a loser that she has no other option but to cheat. (!!!!)

Likewise, a woman will always try to change her man. If she doesn't succeed, she will dump him saying she tried her best but he won't change so she is fed up with him. And if she succeeds, she will still dump him, "You have become a different person now. You have changed a lot. I don't know who you are any more."

Sheeshh... women.

:D

shuakshuali said...

Oh man, the sad ramblings of a guy who's been dumped more times than I've had birthdays :p
but as always... there is a grain of truth in what he says.. OKAYYY, more than a grain.
R-E-SPE-C-T. Hope you (ANDY) and yeah, Mr. Illu too finds the girl who will accept you for what you are :)

ruolngulworld said...

lol @ illusionaire's comment above. lovely poem. now, the only thing left is to give it a catchy/sad tune and let someone sing it - maybe, remkimi cherput? :)

Andy Varte said...

@illusionaire & shuakshuali: Commitment - now that's the big question always ain't it? In that regard, I subscribe to the saying, "Fidelity, once demanded, tends to disappear." As far as I see it, women today, have this nagging tendency to be constantly suspicious, almost scheming to ensure their partners are faithful. I believe this destroys relationships. How can you enjoy each other's company if you spend that time being suspicious of each other?

Furthermore, relationships are about compromise - compromise on the petty jealousies for the bigger goal of longevity and commitment. And for women, I'd say give your partner complete unconditional trust. That way, you'll enjoy every minute together. If it so happens that you find he's cheating on you, then he's betrayed your trust so just leave him - finished... end of story! Things would appear to be much simpler that way... eh?

@ruolngulworld: I am an aspiring vocalist myself... and have the nagging habit of putting vocal lines to music and words. I however, cannot seem to put my poems into tune!

龐克搖滾 said...

長見識了,謝謝你! ........................................

Andy Varte said...

@龐克搖滾: Exactly! (?) This is me pretending to understand what you wrote!

玉苓 said...

thank u........................................

仁南 said...

haha~ funny! thank you for your share~ ........................................

Irene said...

well written...

just be yourself Andy!

Andy Varte said...

@Irene: Thanks! Being oneself - that's always the challenge isn't it? I'm trying to find the real beneath the facade I hide under...